Restore My Normality
by TeaAndWarmSocks
Summary: He initially thought that it had been a stupid thing to do, removing himself from her sight as if the thought of seeing her again was more frightening than enticing, but he couldn't help but make an excuse as to why he had placed himself in her room to begin with.


'They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.' — Andy Warhol

* * *

 **Restore My Normality**

It had been a year since Ed had last seen Winry and he couldn't help but wonder whether she had changed. For the longest time he had hung onto the belief that she'd grown as a person, but somewhere deep down he knew beyond reasonable doubt that she'd continue to wield her wrench when she returned, a gleam in her eyes as intense as an inferno on the cusp of exploding.

Ed wasn't particularly optimistic about that either, although he concluded that Winry would rather meddle in his problems than delve into the automail placed precariously around her room. She had been a nuisance back then when they were young, worrying and constantly crowding his space—he wasn't sure whether she had abandoned that sentiment or not, for she hadn't been worn down the way he had over the years, threadbare in places from hand-to-hand combat. Sure, she was callous and hard and strong, but she had never faced the demons he had been privy to. She was his mechanic, a vulnerable by-stander, a cumbersome _girl_ for God's sake. She had been asked to fix his arm instead of his life, yet she was somewhere out there anyway, roaming through the chaos he had caused the moment he had decided to transmute his mother.

"Dammit, Winry," Ed hissed under his breath, placing his head in his hands, "you're more stupid than I am."

He stared at the automail she had created and thought about what he'd say to her when he saw her again, but he hardly had the patience to wonder about Winry. He pushed himself from her bed and began to make his way toward the desk adjacent to the window instead, scratching the back of his neck as he reached for his uneaten sandwich. He had told Greed, Heinkel, and Darius to stay in the kitchen, although he assumed the reason why Greed had been so complacent had something to do with the pie Pinako had recently baked. They were smart enough to leave him alone when he grew sentimental, but Ed hadn't been in the state of mind to notice that they cared enough to stay quiet. He could remember mentioning something about the window in Winry's room, but they hadn't bought his blatant response. He frowned as he thought about this, seating himself dejectedly near the desk, shoving the sandwich in his mouth.

It tasted decent even though Ed was rather incompetent at making anything resembling food. Winry wouldn't have appreciated the way each chuck of lettuce seemed to darken, furling from oxygen exposure, but he was too focused on chewing to even care. He folded his legs against his chest and stared at his toes instead. He didn't hear the sound of Winry's bedroom door opening and didn't bother to look up when he did. He was tempted to say something condescending or even sardonic, but managed to hold his tongue, taking another bite out of his sandwich.

"I thought you'd like to know that our hole up ain't so secret anymore," Greed muttered from across the room, learning against the doorframe, "you've done a poor-ass job using your woman's room as a lookout."

"I was busy eating," Ed said around a mouthful of lettuce, "but I'm sure Granny's pie took precedence for you, right? Ling had a say in that even though you'd probably deny it."

"I was hungry, kid. Don't let it get to your head."

Ed stared at him apprehensively, reaching for his sandwich again, "you're perpetually hungry, Greed, a goddamn vacuum cleaner."

"Shut up already. I know you're a bit preoccupied being a whiner at the moment, but we're going to be having some company soon and I don't want to play host."

"I am _not_ a whiner," Ed hissed heatedly, his mood steadily worsening, "and did you even bother to consider that our "company" could be a couple of Pinako's customers?"

"Have you looked out of the window yet, shorty? They don't look crippled to me. They're Kimblee's sort."

"Damn you, Greed."

"You're not much of a charmer, Ed," Greed managed to state through a laugh, "I can't help but wonder what your woman would say."

He didn't want to hear Greed's suggestions regarding Winry's sense of righteousness and he didn't want to talk about them either. Ed wasn't in the mood to relinquish his arrogance to a homunculus who was already too avaricious to even care. Ling would have said something stupid in response to this and Ed couldn't help but wonder whether Greed had been urged to speak on Winry's behalf, but Ling hadn't been around for nearly a year and Ed wasn't even sure whether he wanted to speak to him or not. As such these disputes were not uncommon.

"Winry's my _mechanic_ , you ass," he cried, slamming his hand down onto the desk, "and she's _not_ my woman!"

Greed laughed again, grabbing the lapels of his jacket, "jeez, kid, you're really on the defensive today, aren't you?"

"What did you expect! Rainbows and bloody unicorns?"

"Not quite," Greed muttered, turning towards the door, "I _am_ expecting you to get off your ass though."

"I just wanted a quiet place to eat my goddamn sandwich," Ed grumbled, grabbing his sandwich and waving it around in the air, "go greet our "company" and leave."

"I make the orders, kid, not you."

Ed wasn't particularly democratic and had recently begun to act more tyrannical whenever Greed was around. He wondered whether this had to do with his proximity to Winry's home or the actualization of his feelings in general. Everyone had decided to invest in his relationship with Winry and he was determined to keep it the way it was, but that ideal had been blown out of the water the moment he had decided to invest in automail engineering.

"Get close to the sun and all you do is burn up," he rambled under his breath, glaring at Greed from behind his sandwich.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Your hormonal bullshit is bothering the hell out of everyone downstairs, even Ling won't shut up and that's saying something. You could have any woman in the world and the one you're set on is already more of a man than you are," Greed snarled, making his way down the hall, "get your shit together already!"

Ed hadn't been fond of that comment, tossing his sandwich on the desk in an angry stupor, but Greed was already gone by the time Ed had made it to Winry's bedroom door. He glowered in the direction of Greed's retreat, strutting across the room towards the window. He honestly couldn't help himself but was too preoccupied to even consider the amount of chaos he would have to organize before he could rid his thoughts of Greed's nonchalance. Unfortunately this was precisely the moment he began to choke on a piece of lettuce. The men Greed had warned him about were reminiscent of Briggs. He sure as hell didn't know why men like that wanted to parade around Pinako's property with a water tank. Did Pinako even need water? Ed pressed his face against the window and frowned, wondering where Greed had gone to.

It was then that Winry appeared from the tank those men had been lugging around and Ed lunged from the window, reaching for the curtains Pinako had moved aside that morning.

He initially thought that it had been a stupid thing to do, removing himself from her sight as if the thought of seeing her again was more frightening than enticing, but he couldn't help but make an excuse as to why he had placed himself in her room to begin with. He allowed that thought to take precedence over everything else. He didn't recollect the brief glimpse he had acquired of her face or the way she seemed to stand more surely on her own two feet. Ed thought about the sandwich in his hand and the way she would scream at him for having invaded her personal space.

He wanted a quiet place to eat his sandwich, that and some time to think about the girl he had loved since he had been eight. If that wasn't stupid, Ed didn't know what was.


End file.
